I just started using Google Reader, and I'm never going to get anything done ever again. Not when I have MetaFilter, my political blogs, my friends' blogs, Cute Overload, D.C. goings-on, all of my favorite comics, and many, many other things IN ONE PLACE.

What was I thinking? I knew there was a reason I hadn't been using it. I cannot be trusted to be responsible with my time. Maybe I can subscribe to a feed that posts little nagging messages like "Have you finished your homework yet?" and "Clean your room!" every few hours. Know of any? Bonus points if it has audio links.

...Yes, I'm fully aware of the fact that I have a problem.

With fall's new looks already stale and winter not yet arrived, it can be tough to stay at the height of fashion. But this year, fashionistas aren't falling prey to the mid-season slump. They've got the fever, because this November, COLDS are HOT! Here's your step-by-step guide to looking straight out of the infirmary:

Clothing: It's all about comfort right now. Say goodbye to skinny jeans and high-waisted skirts and pull on some pajama pants. The variety of PJ pants available is ideal for showcasing individuality. Men, show off your ironic sense of humor with this fantastic "Chicks Dig Me" print. Zip-up hoodies are a safe bet as they can quickly be removed when your fever spikes, but for those of you who like to take risks, I recommend a big ugly sweater.

Face: This season, it's all about pallor. Lustrous skin is out. Look for dark circles around the eyes, occasionally accented with a pale green discharge that perfectly complements those gorgeous violet hues. Keep an eye out for some retro red noses, too.

Accessories: A box of tissue is this month's must-have for every style-conscious shopper. Mugs are also making a big comeback, much to the chagrin of the paper-cup industry. Fans of that clean white look needn't be left behind, though, as the cutting edge of fashion is willing to compromise.

Attitude: You're SICK, for Chrissake! You don't want to deal with anyone! So curl up in bed and be antisocial. Sure, you won't be seen by many, but those who do see you will surely be impressed with your impeccable style!

Time for pumpkins, candy, candy pumpkins, and, of course, ( zombies. )

All the best ukulele covers have already been done way better than I could hope to do them. Lessons will be happening soon, if I can find a cheap place to live...

Jonathan Coulton is the man, and so is this guy... whoever he is.

Also:

I'm really good at alienating people.

-----

I just bought a ukulele.  I'm pretty stoked.  My fingers hurt but I am full of joy and music.  However, I am terrible, but to remedy that I may soon be taking lessons from this man:



Don't pretend you're not jealous.

This is really long and is indeed random (as the subject might suggest), so I'll be nice and use a ( cut )

As always, it's been ages since my last update. I should try to journal regularly again, seeing as how I'm supposed to start writing blogs for my new job at some point in the future and I'm very much out of practice when it comes to writing.

So, yes, I have a new job. My hours were cut at the publishing company with almost no warning and I, being the cool, calm, and collected girl I am, started making plans to move to Maine and live with mom in case I couldn't get a waitressing gig. I mean, that's all I could possibly have to offer in a market as saturated as DC, and I'd be up against some of the best servers in the country, not to mention my knowledge of wine is limited to the general difference in quality between boxed and bottled. Prospects were not good. Lucky for me, though, I had a roommate who thinks of me as a little sister and was desperate to get me (and young folks in general) involved with the labor movement. He set me up with someone he worked with in the past who runs a company that builds websites for unions, and I didn't miss a day of work.

The job is most excellent. There is still some data entry and general monotony, but unlike my other job which consisted solely of such activities, I get to do substantial work as well, not to mention the learning opportunities. Oh, and I work from home. Major bonus points there, especially because it'll allow me to keep working even if I move.

Speaking of moving, I'm not thinking about it any time soon. At this point, I feel like the only thing I'm missing here is a close female friend, but phone calls to and from Shannon are probably better than anything I'll find with anyone else, ever. I'm getting my ducks in a row here and it feels good. I love moving around and I still get the itch to get up and move somewhere random every month or so, but it isn't nearly as constant as it has been in the past. I plan to stay here to finish up my undergrad, at least.

At this point I don't really care what school I end up at as long as the classes are mostly taught by professors and aren't gigantic. I love the idea of College of the Atlantic, but I think that a pseudo-Antioch minus community, plus long winters would kill me. I've thought briefly about returning to Antioch, but I just can't do it. Even if they did give me the financial aid I would need (which is unlikely), I just don't think its the right place to get my education. If there were an Antioch summer sleep-away camp, though, I'd be all over it. It would be perfect. The days would be filled with anti-oppression trainings, discussion groups, and educational hikes through the glen with some invasive species removal. Free time would be spent lying in hammocks and swinging in front of North and flying kites. Nighttime would mean campfires and guitars and ukuleles and hookahs. Cooking would be done on a rotating schedule and meals would be held in Mills kitchen. Plus, 7-8 weeks is just about the perfect amount of time to be at Antioch without everyone going batshit insane.

Last April my mom sent me a poem she had written for my brother and me about our ancestry and family. A great uncle of mine was a genealogist and sent us many family trees, some of which, it seems, he took a little creative license with (like the tree that related us to Morgan Le Fay, who, you know, may not have existed. But that's rather unimportant. Most of this is based on fact, and I often read it when I'm feeling hopeless. It helps me to remember what strong roots I have, and that gives me strength to get through some difficult times.

This may be of little interest to anyone but me, but here it is anyway:

( For Daniel and Norah On the occasion of Daniel’s eighteenth birthday )

I particularly like that last part:

"Listen: Their lives come down to yours
You come from dreamers
and the persistence of dreams."

My mom rules.

Happy-making things:

-About half of the leaves on the tree outside my office window are still green, and one tree across the street is ALL green.  Yeah, yeah, global warming sucks, blahblahblah, but I prefer green trees and blue skies over grey and more grey.

-In a week and a half I'll be hooome in Wisconsin with my papa and then I'll get to see Shannon!  And lots of other people I love.  It's not that I love the others less, just that I love Shannon best.

-Between now and the end of January, I have a chance to see Mish, Paige, Alison and Jessica while they're in the DC area and James while I'm in Milwaukee.  How amazing is that?  So much Antioch crammed into such a short time.  I feel like I am literally about to burst with joy and excitement, which, if you're curious, feels slightly uncomfortable but mostly just awesome.  And there's another Antioch person who will be in DC, but that deserves its own bullet...

-Mary will be going to Howard starting in January!!!  I.  Can't.  Fricken.  Wait.  Seriously.

-Talia will be here next week!  She and her friend Grace are road tripping out here and they'll be around for a couple days

-Sleeping next to Brady on his mattress on the floor.  Yay for cuddles.

-Sleeping in my bed, just me.  It's just too small for sharing... plus it's really bouncy, so if one person shifts in the middle of the night the person on the edge often nearly bounces off.  Plus, sometimes it's nice to just sleep and hog the covers and not worry about elbowing someone in the middle of the night.

-Kati is due in one week!  Very exciting.  She wants to name the baby Yuri.  Yuri and Oliver.  Oliver Aleksandr Fyodor.  If you're curious, they're not Russian.  Not even a little bit.  I don't know if that's particularly happy-making, but it sure does make me smile.

-3.5 hour phone conversations with Shannon about just about everything.

Now, if only I could figure out what to do with my life and where to go to school, things would be perfect.  Any suggestions for schools with good Urban Studies programs?

Yesterday was the DC Zombie Lurch/Thrill the World/costume party at Club Midnight and boy oh boy was it a good time. Brady and I sadly missed the lurch because of issues with transportation and blahblahblah, but we decided it was more important to be convincingly zombified than to participate in the whole thing. I also had issues getting supplies (due to the fact that I do everything at the very last minute) but I was finally able to track down some glue, corn syrup, general Halloween make-up, and crystal light and cocoa powder (substituted for red food coloring) and things turned out smashingly. Results viewable behind the ( cut. )

I'm quite proud of the neck wound. School glue + toilet paper + the corn syrup mixture. And the corn syrup mixture, thanks to the cocao powder and crystal light, tasted like chocolate covered rasberries. Yum. My entire chest was done similarly, along with my left shoulder and right elbow. I looked quite thoroughly "eaten," but I'm just not enough of a camera whore and the full effect of my costume is sadly left only to memory. We looked damn good, though. It was a fabulous evening. Dancing all night with zombie movies playing in the background is an excellent way to spend a pre-Halloween weekend.

This makes me so happy, for many reasons. I need more ridiculous gay dance music in my life. Being away from Antioch, I just don't get nearly enough. I think this is pretty amazing, though. I mean... seriously. And then right around the 3 minute mark? Yeah. Awesome. Dead or Alive, ftw.

Loneliness is starting to hit. Meeting people and making friends has always been fairly difficult for me, being as shy/awkward/just plain weird as I am. I guess I'm not so much shy as I'm just not outgoing. I'm perfectly happy to talk with someone new, but 95 times out of 100 I'm not going to be the person to initiate conversation. And I'm not really awkward in the uncomfortable sense, that is, until I'm comfortable around people. Then I'm awkward, and I make people feel awkward, and it's awkwardness galore.

I'm thinking about attending some events hosted by a secular/humanist group here, which, even if I don't meet anyone interesting, would at least provide me with something to do with my time. There's also the UU church, and Brady has a friend who attends fairly regularly so maybe I could go with him sometime. I'm also thinking about book clubs. And crafty clubs. As far as opportunities at work, there are no other interns in my department at work and the other departments are far, far away. The folks in my house are all grad students so they have very little free time, and the free time they do have is spent with people from their programs or watching bad TV. I miss living with Shannon. And living in dorms. And I should stop looking at pictures from Antioch on Facebook.

Oy.

At least I have The National to keep me company and make me feel like I'm not the only one feeling isolated. Boxer, by the way, is just as good as, if not better than Alligator.

Sometimes, when I close my eyes I see a garden that I somehow know is in France. A courtyard. I walk down a spiral staircase, a black spiral staircase, into the garden, and it's lush and green, and I am calm and happy and in the sunlight under a blue sky. I am calm, I am happy and calm.

And that's all there is before I realize it's just what I'm seeing on the backs of my eyelids.

Recommend some new music for me. I'm looking in particular for anything upbeat and folky, banjos and/or ukeleles are a plus. But really anything.

I'm currently listening to Beirut - "Postcards From Italy" over and over again, and yesterday was Suzanne Vega - "Tom's Diner (Original)". Oh, yeah, anything with female vocalists is also a plus.

Help me out here, folks. I appreciate it.

Turns out Brady's friend Ken is in a band named Ra Ra Rasputin and yes, my friends, the name is derived from the Boney M Song we all know and love. Anywho, I'm wasting time when I should be cleaning/packing/laundering (is that an appropriate use of the word? Feels like I should be laundering drug money, not clothes) and I happened upon this wonderful video while googling kasachok. Three cheers for Russian-centric German disco! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! There is also a video of the Potter Puppet Pals and this song with English subtitles, but I haven't read Harry Potter and I prefer the bright shiny outfits and the enthusiasm of the group in this video. Enjoy.




Fabulous, is it not?

Sometimes I miss Antioch and the people there so much that it's physically painful.

Last night I watched an episode of The Office (Casino Night) and it made me think of Sunny and Virginia. When Jim kissed Pam I could almost hear Sunny say, "Oh my gaaaawid" in the sort of high-pitched way she does when something is cute but frustrating. It doesn't translate well into text, but I can hear it perfectly. I miss Sunny and the way she talks. Always very expressive.

I'm lame.

On a different note, I'm sending off my security deposit for the room in DC today! Hooraaaaay! I'm leaving for camping today! Hooraaaay!

I've never been camping with a group of people before... just Shannon and my family. It's just five people, Shannon, Paul, Jon, Anna and I, but two and a half days together with no escape should be interesting. I'm ridiculously excited. Should be loooots of fun. We might have water balloons/guns to help us work out any anger we may develop towards each other. Sweet. I'm so pumped.

Within minutes of submitting an AmeriCorps application (one application, but it was for five programs) I received an e-mail from Teaching Strategies saying I got the internship. It seems like things often fall into place when I've just about given up hope. I also think I've found a place to live: a furnished room in a student/intern house, 5 blocks from Union Station. I'm pretty effin' excited. I'm actually going to D.C.

This entire past year it feels like I've been going in and out of different time warps. The days drag on and on, but the weeks fly by, or time just seems to stop although days are passing. Right now, September is coming up much too quickly but plans are, well, I don't have plans anymore. In February, I could have told you what the next year and a half of my life would look like. Now I don't even know what part of the country I'll be living in 40 days. I've just about given up hope for the internship. The HR person *still* has not gotten back to me, despite my e-mail and voicemails just to confirm that she received my resume. I have a feeling she might just be putting off giving me bad news.

Plans B through Z include: several AmeriCorps programs (one or two in DC, a couple in New Orleans, and a couple in Milwaukee); moving down to NOLA and working in a hostel until I can find a real job; sticking around Milwaukee and staying at Ma Fischer's; or going back to Stoughton/Madison and getting a job there. AmeriCorps would be great except that it would be a full year commitment, meaning no school until fall 2008 and I'm already starting to worry about how long it'll be before I graduate. Staying in Milwaukee could be nice... I have some friends here (although I still feel like I'm just Shannon's friend to some people), this apartment is great, and I have a job where I make decent money (and I'm starting to like more of my co-workers). I would still love to go to DC but if I don't get this internship it's just not a smart, financially speaking. New Orleans is always appealing, and Madison will always feel like home. There really isn't a bad option.

Aside from all of that junk, life has been just peachy. Went home on Saturday for some quality time with my dad and brother. We made stir-fry and listened to death metal, two ingredients for a lovely time at home. Daniel seems to have turned some sort of corner and seems to be more mature (he actually seemed to want to spend time with me) but it could have just been the day (although my dad said something similar about him growing up). After dinner I met up with Brittany and Tony and we went out for drinks at a couple places in Stoughton. First was Vincenzo's, a fancy little wine bar that made Brittany and I feel simultaneously very grown up and very young. Next was Cully's, a nicer place on the river where Stella's used to be. Tony bought Brittany and I belated birthday shots, after which everyone thought it was our birthday so we got a few more free drinks out of it. It was a lovely, lovely evening. I can't believe how lucky I am to have such good friends from high school. I didn't realize it until this past year, but I do have several people that I'm still close with and, or even who I feel like I've even gotten closer with since we graduated. Shannon, obviously, but Tony, Brittany and Kendra as well. I really enjoy the comfort of being with friends I've known for years.

Tonight I went out of my comfort zone a bit and went out with a girl from work who I thought I didn't like very much, but after spending a couple hours with her one-on-one she's one of my favorite people at Ma's. She's an environmental science major who plans to go into green architecture and we talked a lot about politics (rather general things, but it was our first actual conversation) and life and work, of course. This may sound awful, but she's not nearly as dumb as she seems at work. She said something about how it was nice to be out with me and talk about "real" things because when she goes out with the other girls from work they all just talk about which girl at the bar is prettier. It seems like she sort of dumbs herself down when she's around some of the girls we work with, which I understand. I had a really good time with her, though, and I'm glad I didn't turn her down for going out. I'm going to file this away as an example of why I shouldn't judge people so quickly. I am a pretty judgmental person sometimes, and that's a part of myself that I really don't like.

If DC doesn't work out, I think I might go to New Orleans...

It seems as though the cure for my stress is to start making ridiculous back-up plans. I'm feeling much better now.

I just started the process to formally withdraw from Antioch. I plan to apply to College of the Atlantic, Earlham, Evergreen, and Emory and Henry (they have a Community Service and Public Policy major). I may apply elsewhere, but apparently I only have the werewithal to go 5 letters into the alphabet on my college search.

So my computer is fucked. Bad logic board. Good news? The data can all be retrieved. Bad news? It would cost $800 to get it repaired ($600 for parts/$200 labor). Ouch. Mother fucker. I was already freaking out about money. I'm probably just going to get a MacBook, which will only cost about $300 more (well, plus the labor for getting the data to the new machine). I sort of needed a new computer anyway. Damn, this sucks.

I'm probably going to leave Milwaukee at the end of the month, if I can find someone to take over the lease just for August. I won't make enough money at work to cover food and rent in the 12 or so days I was planning to stay here in August, so I'm just going to go crash on my dad's floor. Literally, his floor. He doesn't have a couch. I really hope I can find someone to take over my lease.

Say it with me now: Damn, this sucks.

I don't really want to leave Milwaukee that soon, but I've got to save money any way I can.

On a happier note... um... well... Oh. I finally finished that damn book I've been reading forever. Pattern Recognition. It's really good. Check it out.